CONFUSION TO PEACE

After years of studying books to understand why my life turned out this way, I found that being 'kepo' (overly curious) about who I was in a past life can lead to pride or getting stuck in the past. Though it's natural to seek reasons, the central 'identity' now is the one choosing to heal. Understanding my past records is not about naming a person or title, but about finding the inner power to move from anger and confusion to peace.  My current pain is a "clearing" of old accounts. By focusing on my present vibration rather than past injustices, I can move forward. This shift empowers me to truly live for myself and intentionally create a new, positive, and peaceful future. 

I spent my life shaping myself to meet others’ expectations, and now I feel more lost than ever. Realising I was always questioning what was wrong with me, I now see the value in asking different questions. Instead of seeking answers through prayer, I turn to external sources and videos for truth, which shapes my search for fulfilment. Everyday, I an heal myself by reading books of Soul Reflection and keeping myself in peace. To further explore my journey, I watched another video in which Bunda Arsaningsih discusses how understanding karma and reincarnation can lead to a more peaceful and purposeful life. Here are the key notes and takeaways from the discussion:

1. Understanding Reincarnation Matters

• Many people blame God for misfortune, such as poverty or illness. Understanding reincarnation reveals that current life conditions stem from past actions, not random punishment [03:52]. This shifts focus away from blame.
• Feeling victimised can generate negative thoughts or ill will, creating more bad karma. Recognising self-identity helps break this cycle [04:18] by fostering positive thoughts and avoiding new bad karma.
• The goal of knowing one's past is to foster "Ikhlas" (sincere acceptance) of current circumstances as a harvest of what was previously sown [06:19] for acceptance and peace.

2. Current Reality vs Past Figures

• Bunda Arsaningsih avoids revealing specific past-life identities because people may become fixated on the past or arrogant, focusing on former status instead of current duties [07:35].
• Instead, she focuses on the four life aspects carried over: Health, Relationships, Prosperity, and Spiritual status [09:22].
• The purpose of looking back is mapping current problems to their roots so they can be resolved, not to live in nostalgia [11:29].

3. Soul Meter and Energy

• Bunda explains that her insights are not just "feelings" but are based on measuring the radiation and vibration of a person’s energy [11:54], which is called the Soul Meter.
• Energy is not limited by space or time. Therefore, actions from hundreds of years ago still leave a frequency that affects a person today [12:46].
• Natural talents (such as being a quick learner in medicine) are often traced to past lives in which the soul had already mastered those skills [14:59].

4. Resolve Past Karma

• The first way is to use the power of forgiveness. Forgiving others and asking for forgiveness (even for past-life actions) is essential for clearing karmic debts [17:12].
• The second way is to increase inner power. Resolving old karma requires significant spiritual energy. This is achieved through inner cleanliness—freeing the heart from anger and hatred [18:19].
• The ultimate way is to involve God. True surrender (Berserah) to God is the key. By connecting with Divine energy, one’s vibration rises, making it easier to settle old debts and change one's fate [24:42].
• Negative thinking and anger literally lower a person's energy (aura), while positive thoughts and love make the aura glow and recharge [26:12].

5. Plant New Seeds

• While the past explains the why, the present is the only place where you can change the future [38:58].
• Earth is described as a place for soul maturation. A soul continues to reincarnate until it is mature enough to unite with God [34:32].
• To improve the future, start planting good seeds today through acts of love, generosity, and spiritual consistency [39:59].

So, knowing my true self through the lens of karma is the first door to knowing God. By accepting the destiny and involving God in your daily life, I can transform a life of confusion into one of peace and gratitude [40:40]. The video applies real-life challenges, especially those found in marriage, finance, and faith. Here are how the teachings relate to my own situation:

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I mentioned struggling with the idea: if I am kind (X), then God must give me happiness (Y). Bunda Arsaningsih explains that life events are not arbitrary rewards or punishments from God, but follow universal laws of cause and effect. In my understanding, being a good child or a sacrificing wife doesn't automatically "buy" a smooth life in the way we expect. Instead, the hardships I am facing now—the debt and the betrayal—are viewed as ripened fruit from past records that must be experienced to be cleared. The shift in perspective is intended to move me away from feeling that God is being unfair to me personally.

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Reflecting on my sacrifices—my true love, houses, cars, and salary—to settle the man and his family’s debts, I now see how these actions were driven by a sense of spiritual obligation. Dealing with over a decade of unfaithfulness highlighted the depth of these karmic ties. Understanding that family relationships often involve settling spiritual debts helps me recognize why I felt such strong pressure to take on his debt of billions of rupiah. The video encourages me to view that these 25 years not as lost time, but as a chapter where I paid off a significant soul debt.

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I struggled to reconcile how someone with a religious (Pesantren) background could be unfaithful to many women for over a decade. From the video, I learned that a person's current religious labels or status do not always reflect their soul records and their current vibration. His actions could be driven by deeper and unresolved patterns that we must look at a person’s energy and actions rather than his status to understand his true path. He had his own knowledge of faith that I could not blame. For this part, I need to learn more.

Despite the pain of the last two decades, the video offers a path forward. While I cannot change the ripe fruit (the past 25 years of pain), I can change the seeds I plant today. In my understanding, by involving the Power of God and shifting my internal state from the trauma of betrayal toward self-love and spiritual consistency, I can ensure that my future looks different from my past. So, surrendering (Berserah) is not about giving up, but about involving a higher energy to help me resolve the remaining debt and move into a life of prosperity and peace.

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#SoulReflection #SoulMeter #Healing #Forgiveness #TrullyHappiness

Related blog:

https://yorisinan.blogspot.com/2026/03/the-gods-map.html

https://yorisinan.blogspot.com/2026/03/my-turning-point.html