CONTROLLING THOUGHT

For twenty years, I lived a life that many admired from the outside: a successful career, an advanced education, and a family I cherished. But behind those closed doors, I was living in a silent storm, playing the role of a servant and a source of financial support while my own spirit slowly withered. It wasn't until I encountered the teachings of Bunda Arsaningsih and the practice of Soul Reflection that the walls of my silence finally broke.

I first watched this video in 2020, revisited it during the rawest days of my healing in June 2023. I am now in 2026, discovering even deeper layers of insight. I am evolving the levels of truth. This is the most common and clear way to explain that what I understand to be true changes as I grow. This is the story of how I learned to stop holding onto family shame and started holding onto the God's light and love. Through Olah Rasa and the power of God’s energy, I’ve moved from being an ATM for others to being a steward of my own soul.

This video is titled "Karma, Reincarnation & Thought Control," explores how one’s internal mental states shape his or her reality and karmic outcomes. Thought is the Origin of Karma. She emphasizes that karma doesn't just begin with physical actions or words, but with thoughts and intentions [15:40]. Even thinking about a negative action can create a karmic debt because energy follows thought [16:50]. Every thought one has, radiates energy into the universe [21:04]. This radiation acts like a magnet, drawing in similar experiences based on the law of attraction [17:46]. While one’s conscious mind represents about 10% of our mental power, the subconscious mind holds the other 90% [37:44]. Positive affirmations often  fail because they are piled on top of deep-seated, unresolved negative subconscious patterns [38:16].

To truly change, one must engage in olah rasa, the practice of refining and managing inner emotions to find peace [14:30]. Solving life's problems requires a calm mind. In states of panic or tension, it is impossible to see solutions or find the way out [14:41]. Regular practice, such as the Soul Reflection meditation held on Wednesdays, is presented as a way to clean the house of God within oneself. The first step to 'Soul Reflection' is putting down one's pride. Only an open heart can be cleansed; a proud heart is already too 'full' of itself to receive God's energy. The goal of this spiritual growth is to become a true channel of God's blessings for others, which can only happen once the internal or inner void is filled with divine love rather than ego [01:26:49].

In the podcast episode featuring Kiavano who shares a profound transformation regarding how he understands the human mind and the mechanics of Karma. His experience serves as a cautionary tale about the limitations of intellectual knowledge versus spiritual power. Before meeting Bunda Arsaningsih, Kiavano was a "walking library." He spent 10 years consuming vast amounts of information, attending seminars, studying everything from psychology to hypnotherapy, and various self-development techniques.

However, he found that the more he read, the more he encountered contradictions. One book would tell him to think positive, while another suggested silence to his mind. Despite knowing what was right, he felt an inner void. He describes a frustrating experience where his critical mind knew the "good" path, but an uncontrollable internal force would pull him in a different direction (the inherent negative patterns). For years, Kiavano elaborates on why his early efforts at self-improvement failed using the framework of the mind:

• The 10% (Conscious) is the part of his mind by reading books and making resolutions to be good or patient.

• The 90% (Subconscious/Inherent) is where our deep-seated karmic records and habits live.

• The Conflict addressed Kiavano's recent level of truth. If the 90% is filled with negative records (from this life or past lives), the 10% positive thinking will always lose. He describes this as trying to pile fresh soil on top of a mountain of trash, the smell (the negative energy) still leaks through.

A pivotal shift for Kiavano was understanding that Karma is radiation. Most people think Karma is only created when we do something. Indeed, the moment a thought is formed, it radiates into the universe. His most significant breakthrough was realizing that human willpower is insufficient to delete deep karmic records. While techniques like hypnotherapy helped him identify problems, he couldn't sustain the Theta or Delta states (deep frequencies of the mind) long enough to effect permanent change. He found that by involving God’s Power during Soul reflection meditation, he could access the deepest levels of his consciousness. Instead of just covering up his anger with forced patience, he was able to delete the underlying frequency of anger. He mentions that now, when a stimulus occurs that used to make him explode, he actually has the space to choose a different response.

Kiavano's experience has been deeply relatable with my own journey of moving from intellectual frustration to spiritual clarity. His experience highlights the difference between knowing the truth and living it. Like Kiavano, I spent years thinking that if I filled my mind with knowledge and my life with good deeds, happiness would follow. I was the perfect daughter, the patient' wife, and the generous' provider. But I was building a house on a foundation of suppressed trauma.

Moving on from trauma requires shifting one's perception and energy rather than trying to simply delete the memory Understanding karma helps one realize that current hardships are often results of seeds planted in past lives. Bunda discusses how human power alone is often insufficient to delete deep karmic records. They advocate for invoking God's power or divine energy (harnessing God's light and love) to clear these deep-seated burdens.

I remembered Bunda Arsaningsih's teaching in other podcasts that marriage is a spiritual process intended to blend two different characters and teach tolerance and compassion. Conflicts in marriage often arise when partners are spiritually out of sync or guided by selfish intentions like self ego.

As the video, thoughts are triggered by our senses as what we see and hear. These triggers activate our internal records, which then radiate outward. Now I understand: if my internal radiation is angry or distrustful (even if I am sitting quietly at home), the universe returns energy of the same frequency to me. This explained why I still faced bad luck despite trying to act like a good person. I was trapped between surface goodness versus internal radiation:

• I was obedient, patient, and generous (giving up your assets and marrying to please your mother). Inside, there was likely deep depression, suppressed wounds, and the pain of being a "servant" and an ATM.
• The universe doesn't just respond to what we do; it responds to what we radiate. If my heart was radiating pain, sacrifice-based resentment, or the vibration of being used, the law of attraction continued to bring me situations that mirrored those heavy feelings.
• For almost 3 decades, I have often focused on the 10% (my conscious actions) while the 90% (the subconscious and energy) is what actually communicates with the universe. During Kiavano's journey, I realized that simply knowing or doing isn't enough if I am not managing my energy.
• I acted out of a sense of duty (Swadarma), as a noble. If a marriage shackles the soul, it stops being a spiritual union and becomes a karmic burden. By sacrificing my assets and happiness to a point of depletion,I may have unintentionally fed a negative karmic cycle. I was doing good for others, but I was  not being good to the soul God placed within me.
• My messy life wasn't a punishment for being good; it was the boiling over of a 20-year karmic cycle that needed to be broken. The mess was actually the universe's way of forcing me to look at the 90%—the part of me that finally said, "I cannot hold this wound anymore" in 2023.
• My life felt messy because I was trying to solve a spiritual problem (an abusive/exploitative dynamic) with physical solutions (money, patience, and silence). Spiritual problems require God’s power. This is why my breakthrough only came after I engaged in Soul Reflection meditation and Olah Rasa.

My life fell apart not because I was bad, but because my soul was screaming for truth. I was doing the 10% (the actions) perfectly, but my 90% (my energy and subconscious) was drowning. I finally realized that I cannot buy my way out of karma with money or silence. I have to heal it with God's Light, Love and Energy. I finally understand why my 20-year cycle kept repeating. I was trying to fix the outside while the inside was still carrying a mountain of silent wounds. Bunda Arsaningsih reminds me that if the pattern repeats, the cleaning isn't done. 2023 was the year I started the deep cleaning; 2026 is the year I finally see the house is becoming bright.